NAKED: Reclaiming Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Real Life Marriage Series) by Tim Evans & Anne Evans

Author:Tim Evans & Anne Evans [Evans, Tim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: REAL LIFE Ministries
Published: 2017-05-22T07:00:00+00:00

ORAL STIMULATION AND ORAL SEX

There are many topics the Bible does not cover in detail. As with masturbation, whenever a topic is not clearly addressed, it must be approached with care and considered in light of broader principles given in God’s Word. We define oral stimulation as one spouse orally stimulating their spouse’s genital area and oral sex as orally stimulating a spouse to orgasm.

The Old Testament book of Song of Solomon explores marital intimacy and sexuality. It is a love story rich in imagery and figurative language. Song of Solomon also speaks graphically about the sensual pleasures in marriage. It refers to specific body parts that visually stimulate and bring pleasure to a spouse. And it describes stages of sensual arousal a couple experiences as their passion and love for each other increases.

Biblically, the garden is symbolic of female genitalia. Chapter 4 says, “May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits.”10 The wife is inviting her husband into his garden to take in all its splendor. In another passage the bride says, “In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”11 Many Bible interpreters believe these passages refer to oral stimulation and oral sex.

Men and women often have strong feelings about oral stimulation and oral sex, ranging from extremely positive to extremely negative. Some married couples say that oral stimulation and oral sex are important parts of their sex life, increasing their pleasure and taking their sexual enjoyment to new levels. Other couples have no desire to participate in these forms of sexual stimulation.

An elderly woman who had been married more than fifty years approached us at a NAKED: Reclaiming Sexual Intimacy in Marriage gathering and thanked us for addressing this sensitive sexual topic. She then quietly whispered to us that at her and her husband’s age, oral stimulation was an integral part of their foreplay—almost a necessity for both of them to experience orgasms.

As with every sensitive topic related to sexual expression, opinions range all over the map. We have heard a variety of comments, including, “We believe oral stimulation is okay, but a man ejaculating in a woman’s mouth is not okay. The only place for a husband to place his seed (sperm) should be in his wife’s vagina.” Others say, “Orally satisfying one another is a highlight of our lovemaking.” And others say, “Orally stimulating one another is something we are not remotely interested in.”

One young husband said, “My wife wants me to perform oral stimulation, but I have never done that before. I am not opposed to giving it a try, but honestly, I have no clue what I am supposed to do—can you help me?” Pause for a moment … how would you answer this question?

Various couples have described oral stimulation and oral sex as fun, gross, joyful, sinful, natural, and unnatural. With such a wide variety of reactions, it is no surprise that some couples have told us these topics cause division and strife in their marriage.

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